Christmas

I just delivered a bag of gifts to the mom from 11 on my own.

Christmas for a family of 12

Hello friends.
Christmas is coming up fast, and a family a few towns over from ours could use a little help with some Christmas cheer. Kristin is a now single mom of 11 children, trying to put herself through nursing school so she can make a better living to support her family.

http://11onmyown.com/

I have a Christmas wish list (plus a few extra ideas of my own) for her children (and for her) and would love your help. Any extra funds will be given directly to her and her children.

Thank you for any donations and all of your prayers. I know they welcome them.

Summer

Oh goodness, it’s been a while.
Well, everyone, it’s summer, officially. It’s been a very very busy few months, and though Dan would love love love to sit for a while and write, he honestly doesn’t have the time! It takes all of our effort to keep each other informed on the important issues (G popped in his underwear today….. W has been lifting T when he gets stuck, T is pushing a tooth and took his first steps today) before passing out for the evening.
Let me tell you what he’s been up to.
Since he started working for New York Life, he has been happy. Every night, when he comes home, he’s tired, still has stuff to do, misses his family, and is happy. It’s a huge change from our previous situation. He loves helping his clients. He loves chatting with young families. He loves making a difference.
And I love that we’re getting a regular paycheck. Honestly, it couldn’t be better- he loves what he does and gets paid, on time, every two weeks. Okay, maybe it could be better- we could make more and we could have more time with him. We’re still paycheck to paycheck, but we never have to wonder if it’s going to come. We see him for maybe an hour a day, 6 days a week, but he doesn’t carry any frustration home when he gets back.
But really, we have security. It’s tough, but he’s never going to loose his job, ever- this is his career until he retires, which he’ll actually be able to do someday. We get a paycheck EVERY TWO WEEKS- I still can’t get over that- it’s so new to us- i don’t even care if it’s small, IT COMES, consistently. Crazy.

Me…. I’ve been taking care of the kiddos. It’s been a little lonely, I’ll admit. They miss daddy, and with the constant changing of schedules, it’s been a little rough on them (especially since I’m such a fan of a somewhat consistent schedule). It’s summer, it’s hot now, and that makes the boys (and me) extra grumpy. But we do have a kiddie pool, and friends with pools, and a lake nearby, and a state park with the best little pond and ‘beach’ ever….. so it is what it is.  My baby isn’t a baby anymore, he’s huge, and that makes me a little sad. Lucky for me, one of my besties is having a little boy in August, and another is having a boy in September, so I’ll have some babies to smooch. I also have a great group of friends, who I never see because we’re all busy moms, but just knowing they are there is encouraging. I’m also planning on initiating a moms of young kids group at our church in the fall, hopefully- must address that with Father.  (hi Father, if you’re reading this…. it would be super duper awesome because our church is full of babies but we never meet each other because we’re busy Catholic moms hearding our gillions of babies out the door after mass…… plus there would be food)

We’re about to celebrate my 27th, and T’s 1st birthday next month, and in the fall comes W’s 4th and G’s 3rd. Birthday presents this year are days off with Daddy! Then in January will be our 6 year wedding anniversary. I have a faithful, hard working husband, three healthy, thriving kids, a wonderful church community, and so many family and friends. I am so happy. I am so thankful. I am so blessed.

A shameless plug: if you would like any of the following, please feel free to contact us, and I’ll be sure Dan sets aside time to address it:
1)want to work for NYLife and have a great career and job stability?
2)need help with financial planning? It’s free, and flexible.
3)need life insurance? security for your family.

~Kaitlin

Chris…. Kringle?

Kaitlin here again, with maybe Dan wrapping up since I need to go grocery shopping.

Do you remember how we talked a little about the pesky, stress filled financial situation we were in, but how we were TRYING, TRYING, TRYING to trust that crafty Lord of ours?

Well, He took care of us, and boy, was it a shocker. I could never have guessed how he would provide, and isn’t that how it always is? Seriously though, I expect to get a call from Hallmark Channel any day now.

We were not eligible for unemployment, which meant we would have absolutely no income from October 14th until Dan’s new job (commission only) triggered (which will happen next week most likely). That’s quite a long time to go with nothing. We leaned on family, and were wonderfully surprised by friends, but it was still stressful, even though we knew (and kept telling ourselves) that we would be okay, that God would continue to provide, and that this new job, while tough now, would be a great career move for our family.

Then, out of the blue, Dan received a voice mail from ‘Chris’ in the unemployment office, saying that he had reviewed his file and thought he could help us out.

Dan here (Kaitlin went grocery shopping).  So since I had only just missed Chris’ call I called the number on my cell phone’s caller ID right back.  Sure enough, it was the unemployment office.  I hit 0 to get to an operator and I then explained my situation and asked if I could speak to Chris.  The operator said, after thinking for a minute, that she didn’t know anybody by the name of Chris in that department (inter-state since Chris had said I would be eligible for the Federal Extension of benefits from my previous claim 2 years ago in MA).  Curiouser and curiouser

Since Chris’ voicemail had said he would try again (instead of leaving me a number to reach him) I decided I would just wait for his call.  When he called back and we finally connected he asked me some fairly general questions about what I had been doing for work since the beginning of 2011 (when my last unemployment claim ended) most of which he already had but was just looking for some confirmation of a few details.  He then said that he was going to send off the paperwork to Massachusetts and that I should hear from someone either via mail or phone in a week or two.

Sure enough, I received the two calls that Chris had predicted – one telling me that I was ineligible for benefits and the second (from the same person ironically) telling me that I was eligible for the Federal extension of benefits through the end of this year.  3 days later, 8 checks arrived in our mailbox containing enough funds to see my family through January and into February by which point my new job should be providing enough income.

So, Hallmark, I wonder, how does Chris spells his name and what his last name might be?  Kris perhaps?  Kringle perhaps?  or perhaps it’s Nicholas?

Anyway, this was a story about how God, yet again, provided for our needs and about how we can trust that He will continue to do so.

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Rachel Weeping…

“A voice was heard in Ramah,
sobbing and loud lamentation;
Rachel weeping for her children,
and she would not be consoled,
since they were no more.” Mt. 2:18

It’s hard to put (figurative) pen to (figurative) paper in light of an event as evil as the massacre that happened in Newtown, CT on Friday.  A colleague’s niece was among those killed.

I’m grateful for the way my writing this post is continually being interrupted by the sound of my children playing happily (at the moment anyway) in their playroom, the sound of their feet as they come running to show me some toy or (pretend) food they have.  Gabriel just brought me a pretend carrot with, he says, chocolate chips on it.

Theodicy, or in layman’s terms, the problem of evil.  No good explanation of theological terms and concepts, no matter how true, logical or inspired, can ever give an answer to Rachel weeping.  Rachel weeping, refusing to be consoled.  How can you even speak any words of hope when everything seems to be darkness? Every phrase that people murmur in times like these rings hollow, as worthless cliches.

Yet not all is darkness.  

The fundamental truth on which Christianity is based is that Golgotha always must proceed Easter.  Christ crucified is what we proclaim.  That Christ, God, Infinite, Innocent and Holy, suffered, took on all suffering, death and sin, that darkness fell over the land, the sun was covered and all hope was lost. That he gave up his spirit and died, murdered by those He had come to set free.  If the Infinite suffered, the suffering was infinite and contained all suffering including Fridays.  Christ crucified contains the suffering of those families – their suffering participates in the Cross.

Yet darkness was not the end of the story.

Today is still too soon to write about Easter for those families.  Rachel weeping, still refuses to be consoled. 

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
and Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of death.

The vigil/service tonight is at 7:00PM.  For those, like me, who can’t be there I encourage you to offer a Rosary, or Divine Mercy chaplet (For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have Mercy on us and on the whole world) or other suitable prayer for all those families directly affected by this horror.  For all of those who are Rachel weeping, refusing to be consoled.  Trust that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Focus on what matters.

Focus on what matters.

No matter who is president, Jesus is King.

My family will be taught good strong morals and have a strong, solid foundation.

Times are tough, and we can hold our mother’s hand (PRAY YOUR ROSARY).

and this. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=646998149045

Trust

Kaitlin here.

Trust is a tricky thing. It sounds cliche to talk about trust, so I’m going to with as many cliches as possible.

I’d like to think I’m great at it, that I never worry, that I never fear the unknown, that I completely and utterly trust 1)my God, and 2) my husband. But realistically, I’m a hormonal, emotional, crazy person (okay, woman- I know my husband is thinking: that’s redundant- hush you!). I worry about what tomorrow brings. I get nervous thinking about the what ifs. I fear for the safety and welfare of my children.  I’m concerned that I’m not able, experienced or good enough…. for anything. And, most currently, I’m worried about our financial situation. Here’s what we’ve been dealing with the last few years/months.

What I do during these times (what I try) is to remind myself how God has provided in the past, and how my husband has never left my side. When we were trying for Will, Dan’s job moved from an hour away, to a mile. When Will was born, I was in the care of my two absolute favorite members of the OBGYN team, making my (huge) child birth a little less stressful. When we were scared because Will was puking up blood, my cousin met the ambulance (Will and myself) at the children’s hospital while Dan was delayed getting our stuff together and driving behind us. When we tried to buy a house, even though it was crazy, Dan had the best month of his life (financially) and was able to work from home (though no one else was). When Gabriel was born, and we got calls IN THE HOSPITAL from his work, and a week later found out the US company was going down the tubes, we got an email that HIS job was secure. I’m sure if you look into your own life, you can find times of unexpected support.

I must remind myself of these events, and others like it, in times like these. I know I have family and friends that would gladly help us out should we need it, financially and emotionally, but it’s soooo hard to remember that!

When you’re living paycheck to paycheck, it’s tough- I know many people out there who are aware of this too. For me, I can deal with that, even if it means being on a very tight budget (thanks, mom, I can budget like…. something that’s good at budgeting….. fail) but the not knowing WHEN we’re going to get the next paycheck, or how much it will be, that kills me. I never know if we’re going to get the money, or when. We’re owed a lot, but we can’t see it or use it, and our bills and debt keeps whispering in my ear. Trust is hard when you’ve been doing it for a long time, and keep feeling let down. We’ve been in uncharted waters since late last summer, and we kept getting told it was going to get better soon. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but how do we trust that it’s real, when it seems to have been fake many times in the past?

I don’t know when we’re getting our next paycheck. I don’t know what is in store for my family, for my children, for my own future. I can’t see into the future, as much as I’d like to. Trusting in God doesn’t mean you’ll have an easy life, or a perfect future. For me, though, it means that no matter what happens, I’ll have someone to turn to, spiritually (God), but also tangibly- I know my husband will always choose to be with me, and beyond that, God has always provided someone to be there.  That’s what I’m going with for now.

Life has been pretty hectic around here the past few weeks. My wonderfully talented husband is no longer working for his boss in the uk. This is both awesome and terrifying. I just keep telling myself, God always provides- he has in the past, he will again. We are getting about 1/3 of what we’re owed (or at least we hope so) and he’s looking for work. Exciting, because by Christmas, I’ll never have to deal with that guy again (not going to lie, i’m a little grouchy with him). Exciting because my superhusband is going in for his third interview with New York Life (by the way, who wants to let him practice on you? seriously, send an email if you’re in the area- he’s pretty smart) and it looks like the direction we’re heading in for his career. Proving to us that God provides- the day after he and his boss parted ways, he had three interviews scheduled. Scary because, where is our income going to be coming from the next weeks/months until his commission kicks in? (hint hint Lord)

So that’s the financial situation. We also just faced Sandy. I was prepared, but scared. My kids are young, and I irrationally worry about things like trees falling on them in their beds (yeah, I know, I have all the scripture versus to recite, and my kids do the rosary with me, but I’m also human). I can’t believe that 1/3 of our town was without power and we were not among them. We also had no damage to our home or car. I’m so very very thankful.

See? God provides. Not always how I want. Okay, almost always not how I want or plan. But He does, you just have to figure out how He’s doing it. And I, as a planner, don’t always enjoy doing that, but I know it’s good for me. makes  me grow as a person and spiritually and all that.

this really should have been two or three posts. oh well. snaps to you if you read it.

Support a Catholic Speaker Month: Steve Ray

This post is a response to the great work that Brandon Vogt has been doing to promote the New Evangelisation, in this case through “Support a Catholic Speaker Month” (September).

Since the only Catholic Speaker I have heard speak is Steve Ray, I decided to do a post highlighting his background and the substance of his talks to St. Patrick Church in East Hampton, CT.  If, technology challenged as I am, I can figure out how to embed some video of Steve speaking I’ll do that too. You can check out more about Steve Ray at http://www.catholic-convert.com/

Steve Ray

Steve Ray was raised by his parents as a devout Baptist and in a community that was strongly anti-Catholic.  Much of his current work is as he says, “arguing with my former self.”  As a young man he actively worked to ‘save’ Catholics and was quite successful in using his encyclopedic knowledge of Scriptural ‘proof texts’ to demolish the poorly catechized beliefs of the Catholics he met.

It was Steve’s wife, Janet who first started looking at Catholicism through reading Tom Howard’s book “Evangelical is not Enough”.  For a long time Steve and Janet had been dissatisfied with the evangelical churches they were attending but they had been content to be ‘generic’ Christians.  After reading Tom Howards book as well as hearing Francis Schaeffer’s account of his journey into Eastern Orthodoxy, the Ray’s read every book they could find on the Church Fathers, by the Church Fathers and slowly but surely they were convinced that the early Church was emphatically Catholic and that the Church Christ founded was founded on Peter, the Rock. The whole family joined the Catholic Church on Pentacost Sunday, May 22, 1994.

I recommend checking out the “About the Rays” page on Steve’s website to learn more about their conversion story.

Why I am Catholic

The first talk I heard Steve give was on a Friday night in December of last year.  This talk was his story, his journey from anti-Catholic Baptist to joyful and grateful Catholic convert, some of which I’ve related above.

One thing that struck me about Steve was his absolutely intense joy and passion for telling the story of his own conversion.   For someone who hasn’t been through a conversion process testimony like Steve’s (and mine for that matter) could perhaps be seen as ego.  But for me, and I suspect for Steve, every time I tell my story I am admitting that I was wrong and sharing my profound joy and thankfulness that God still loved me and drew me closer to Himself and into the Church.

As Steve tells his story you get swept up into the events he is describing, the people, places, joys, challenges, tears.  He makes a very convincing case for why he is Catholic and directly challenges many traditions that are believed to be Scriptural by fundamentalist Baptists and many in the broader Evangelical community.

A quick example has to do with the efficacy of water baptism.  Many fundamentalists believe that baptism is not necessary for salvation.  That all you need to do is ‘believe’ that Christ is Lord (by which they mean say the ‘Sinner’s Prayer’ or something similar and assent in their mind that Christ is Lord) and you will be saved.  Steve makes a very strong case that not only is simple assent not enough but that baptism by water was taught by Jesus and is the only Scriptural way to become a Christian.

Starting in the beginning of the Bible, he laid out an argument that whenever God begins something He always does it in the same way: with water and Spirit.  He goes on to argue that Christ didn’t change that pattern but rather continued it with water baptism as the mechanism for transmitting grace and reception of the Holy Spirit. The early Church continued in the exact same manner.  Every convert was baptized with water and received the Holy Spirit.

For more on this topic I highly recommend Steve’s book “Crossing the Tiber” which if you know me personally I can lend to you.

Peter, the Rock, and the Keys

Steve’s talk on Saturday covered much of the material in his book “Upon This Rock” which lays out his argument for the Papacy.  I also own a copy of this book if anyone local would like to borrow it.

I’m running out of time for writing this week so I’m going to leave this post as it is and try to write some more about Steve and the great work he does as a scholar, speaker and apologist.  But don’t wait for me, go book him for your event or parish speaking schedule, go hear him speak, or go on pilgrimage with him.  He’s great!

A Meditation on Faith and Works

I’ve been thinking recently about how different Christians understand ‘faith’.  In particular it has struck me how for most Protestant denominations ‘faith’ is something that you have, a noun and object. You hear phrases along the lines of ‘I’m struggling with my faith’, or ‘I’m losing my faith’ or ‘I try to follow my faith’ or ‘God is helping me increase my faith’.  ‘Faith’ is almost always the object of the verb.

I think a better understanding of faith is that it is not just something you have but something that you do.  I expect that there isn’t much disagreement on this point but I think it does highlight  a key difference between Protestants and Catholics which, coming from the Protestant side of the spectrum I didn’t understand.

You often hear the criticism of Catholic faith that it is based on a ‘works righteousness’.  That in some sense the Catholic supposedly believes that their works can save them.  And there is plenty of language in Catholic theology that at first glance would give some credence to this criticism.  I certainly had this in the back of my mind when I first started looking at Catholicism.  I saw lots of Mass-going Catholics who didn’t seem to be having the kind of ‘faith’ experiences that I was used to.  I didn’t hear a lot of “Jesus” talk; I didn’t see a lot of public displays of ‘faith’; I only saw pre-written prayers used; I didn’t see the elements of ‘having faith’ that I was used to seeing.  So I made assumptions about many of the people around me (really they were judgments) that they were just going through the motions and didn’t really ‘have faith’.

As it turns out, I was wrong because I had too shallow an understanding of faith and I had too much pride in my own faith history and experiences.  It’s tough to admit that you have a lot to learn about being faithful when you’ve spoken words of prophecy, seen people healed through the power of the Holy Spirit, been to the mountaintop of faith, lead thousands in worship, lead retreats and youth groups, been chaplain for my class, etc.  (If any of that sounds familiar and foolish you might be thinking of 2 Corinthians 11:16-29.)

As I began to learn however, I realized that my understanding of faith, of my faith, saw faith as an object, something you either have or don’t have.  Catholics don’t see it that way at all.  Faith, for the Catholic, is something that you do.  Instead of having faith, the focus is on being faithful.  So we go to Mass every week and on Holy days of obligation; we do works of mercy; we consecrate ourselves (to the Sacred Heart, to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, etc.); we pray the rosary; we focus on the active doing of our discipleship – even before we are fully convinced in our minds about the content of our belief we try to act on those beliefs.

None of this should be seen as an anti-intellectualism or a screed against the work of theology and philosophy – those are very good things and are important.  The faithful life of the Catholic though is not primarily based on thinking about the content of our beliefs but on the acting on those beliefs – living out the Living Tradition of the Church in our daily lives.

I should also point out that most Protestants also act on their faith.  My point here is that the Catholic and the Protestant are coming from two different perspectives.  The Catholic and the Protestant would both agree that we are saved by Grace which comes through faith in Christ.  My point is that ‘faith in Christ’ is understood by Protestants as something you have whereas the Catholic would say that ‘faith in Christ’ is something that you do.

Paul writes in Romans 4:1-5 “What then can we say that Abraham found, our ancestor according to the flesh? Indeed, if Abraham was justified on the basis of his works, he has reason to boast; but this was not so in the sight of God. For what does the scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” A worker’s wage is credited not as a gift, but as something due. But when one does not work, yet believes in the one who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness.

I think it is interesting that James uses the exact same passage to apparently make the exact opposite point.  From James 2:20-24 “Do you want proof, you ignoramus, that faith without works is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered his son Isaac upon the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by the works. Thus the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called “the friend of God.” See how a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.”

How then do we resolve these two passages?  The first part is to understand what exactly Paul is talking about when he says ‘works’ and what James is talking about when he says ‘works’.  Paul is clearly refering to ‘works of the law’ and in particular circumcision as you can see if you read deeper into Romans 4 where Paul makes explicit that his argument is that faith which God credits as righteousness is not dependent circumcision since Abraham was uncircumcised and only after being made righteous received the seal of circumcision as a sign of the covenant.  Paul goes on to say that Abraham “was to be the father of all the uncircumcised who believe, so that to them [also] righteousness might be credited, as well as the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised, but also follow the path of faith that our father Abraham walked while still uncircumcised.” (Romans 4:11b-12, emphasis mine).

What was the ‘path of faith’ that Abraham ‘walked’ (notice that faith is no longer something that Abraham has but something that he does (walks))?  Abraham received God’s promise that God would make him into a great nation  but it was another 25 years before Isaac was born.  Through all of those long years as Abraham is getting older and older, as his wife is getting older and older he still trusts God and walks blamelessly. I’m not sure that I would be able to be faithful for 25 years of what appears to be a broken or empty promise.  That is why Abraham is considered the ‘father of faith’ because he walked the path of faith for 25 years before he saw God’s promise fulfilled and then even after still trusted God enough to prepare his son for sacrifice.

Thus I say that Paul and James are making the exact same point not different points.  Both are after the idea that faith is a way of being, not something that you just have.  For Paul, works of the law is something you have – all male Jews were circumcised but that is not enough, the Jew still has to ‘believe God’ (i.e. live faithfully).  Paul is writing to make the point that what you have is not enough, you still have to live in faithfulness.  James is making essentially the same point against those who seemed to think that saying ‘I believe’ was enough.  ‘I believe’ is a lie unless it is demonstrated in your life.

On the obnoxiousness of the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin”

So I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the frequently used Christianese phrase “Love the Sinner, hate the sin.” (LTS HTS)  Is it just me or is that a really obnoxious thing to say?  I figure that there are only really two types of people in relation to some ‘sin’ – those who ‘know’ it to be sin and those who don’t.  Say for example, if I were, in a moment of weakness to walk out of Guitar Center with a Les Paul Custom.  I know that is stealing and it’s wrong so if you were to say LTS HTS about me I’d say, yeah, i know I was wrong apologize and move on.

However, if I came from a society or a belief system that didn’t believe in personal property and I didn’t know that stealing was wrong I might be offended if you said LTS HTS about me.  And I might be even more sensitive if there were lots of people constantly telling me I needed to repent of this supposed sin or I would go to hell; or perhaps treating me like I was less than fully human just because I steal stuff.

Now imagine for a moment that something that is at the core of your self-identity is the ‘theft’ in my analogy.  How pissed off, offended and not inclined to reasonable discussion would you be if people kept telling you that you’re a sinner but we love you anyway.  You’d be be inclined to tell them to take their ‘love’ and shove it back up from whence it came.

So the next time you feel like interjecting ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ into a conversation (particularly a public one) – consider for a moment how that ‘sinner’ is going to take your label and perhaps focus on just loving people where they are and trusting in God to convict their hearts.

*note* I am not advocating for moral relativism.  My interest is pastoral and evangelical.  No one was ever convicted of their own sinfulness (myself included) by being told that they were a sinner.  Everyone was convicted first by meeting the risen Christ and letting His light shine into their lives and second by becoming open to the consistent teaching of the Church.  Lord knows (and I mean that literally – I am continually amazed at His grace and patience with me) that things I thought to be licit even five or six years ago I have since been convicted through my open-hearted (and minded but it’s the heart that matters I think) study of the teachings of the Church.